I love reading books that help inspire me, challenge me and change me. I struggle to find books that are helpful and not just the feel-good self-help type of book. Working with my clients I will recommend books that offer more than just a feel-good solution. That is why I do a bi-weekly blog post on books that are helpful to read. This week’s book review of Ten Lessons To Transform Your Marriage by John Gottman, Ph.D. and Julie Schwartz Gottman.
Review of Ten Lessons To Transform Your Marriage
The Gottman’s take on common issues that face all couples in this book. They share real interviews from couples and display the dialogue that comes with it. With the dialogue from real couples, they dissect each sentence letting the reader know what works and doesn’t work. This real world advice goes a long way in help each of us look into how we talk to our partner.
- Good parts of the book The real-world examples make it clear that we all face similar issues within relationships. The Gottman’s help you understand and change the way you communicate. This goes a long way in forming healthier happier relationships.
- Not so good parts of the book I do not enjoy reading the dialogue. This book is filled with real relationship dialogue that the Gottman’s break down. While helpful in understanding how we talk to each other, it becomes a tedious read.
Chapter Breakdown
Each chapter takes on a topic and how the couple deals with the topic before and after the advice from the Gottman’s. I will list the different issues that are addressed in each chapter.
1 – The one partner who is working all the time.
2 – The couple dealing with an affair.
3 – How distance happens and can heal
4 – Lack of communication couple
5 – We have different goals and dreams.
6 – Dealing with an irritable spouse.
7 – All she does is Nag.
8 – Dealing with no passion and fun.
9 – Kids are taking all our time.
10 – Dealing with Drama.
Who This Book Helps
From married couples to those who just have started dating. This book can be helpful to anyone who is looking for real-world example of what goes wrong in relationships. The Gottman’s are able to give specific, tangible advice that can help any relationship.
My words of advice for any who read this book (or any relationship book for that matter). Use the knowledge that you gain for improvement of your part of the relationship. Do NOT use the knowledge that you gain as a way to tell your partner what they are doing wrong within the context of the relationship.
Other Recommend Relationship Books by Dr. Gottman
You can click on the titles and it will take you to Amazon where you can buy the book
- The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
- What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal
- Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child The Heart of Parenting
- The Man’s Guide to Women: Scientifically Proven Secrets from the “Love Lab” About What Women Really Want
- Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last
- The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Click Here to read my review on The Seven Principle for Making Marriage WorkOther Gottman Resources
You can check out Dr. Gottman’s Institute by Clicking Here. This website has blogs, research, conferences, and products that are good for couples and families.
That was my quick review of Ten Lessons To Transform Your Marriage. Click here to buy on Amazon.
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