Never feel bad again.

  You will never feel bad again after reading this. During therapy, I always to ask my clients how are you doing today? The response that I get is varied but falls typically into three different types of categories. The first is "I'm good," usually this means that everything in life is going well, no major stressors, and an overall...[ read more ]

Why are you in fight mode?

Question: Why you are in fight mode? Answer: You put content before emotions. Have you ever gotten into a fight, argument or disagreement with your significant other and felt like you talked in circles for hours on end? Does it feel like this fight never gets solved? Alternatively, do you feel like you keep saying the same thing over and...[ read more ]

Primary and Secondary Emotions

What Fighting About the Dishes Taught Me About Primary and Secondary Emotions. When I was in grad school, I found myself getting so angry when I would get home after a long day. Why was I upset the dishes still dirty, still sitting in the sink! I could feel my blood starting to pump more and more; I could hear...[ read more ]

Couple Bubble

To build a relationship that last one of the most important concepts that a couple can grasp and practice is a couple bubble.  When I worked with children in vacation bible school one of the first things that we would cover is the “purple circle.” this is where we would teach the children to put their arms all the way...[ read more ]

Books for LGBT Christians

If you are struggling with can you be a Christian and LGBT, the quick answer is yes! One of the biggest struggles that my clients and myself have faced in our own coming out process is to connect our faith with our sexual identity. No matter what your belief systems are, you can learn a lot from these books and...[ read more ]

Best Books About Coming Out

Best Books About Coming Out Coming out can be scary and one of the hardest things that a member of the Queer community does in their lifetime. Coming out is different for everyone, however, the following Coming out books can help anyone who has questions about the coming out process. Queer: The Ultimate LGBT Guide for Teens Teen life is...[ read more ]

The Difference between Sexual harassment, Sexual Assault, and Sexual Addiction

            I am writing this blog post at the start of December 2017, while I normally write blogs early much like this one. I am expressing the date because between the day I write this and its publishing who knows who might be the next person discovered with sexual behavior issues. I use the word...[ read more ]

Books on Sexual Addiction and Porn Addiction

If you or your partner is struggling with porn addiction or sexual compulsion (sexual addiction) it can be overwhelming on what to do. Please check out my blog post on these topics and make sure you read Is Sex Addiction Real. Below is a list of books that can help anyone struggling with pornography addiction or sexual compulsive behaviors. Below...[ read more ]

Types of Counseling Therapy

Types of Psychotherapy What is the difference between counseling and therapy? It is confusing for me to know the difference between the types of counseling, therapy and then add in psychotherapy, it is enough to make my head hurt. I hope to clarify the difference. In researching about this I found that first, you need to understand the type of mental...[ read more ]

Effects of Watching Pornography

Effects of Watching Pornography This is not a blog post on the moral judgment of if pornography is good or bad. As a marriage, and family therapist I do my best to stay away from making moral judgments about anything specific. Becuase for me it is more important to ask the question what are the effects of watching pornography in...[ read more ]

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