I love reading books that help inspire me, challenge me and change me. I struggle to find books that are helpful and not just the feel-good self-help type of book. Working with my clients I will recommend books that offer more than just a feel-good solution. That is why I do a bi-weekly blog post on books that are helpful to read. This week’s book review of Ten Lessons To Transform Your Marriage by John Gottman, Ph.D. and Julie Schwartz Gottman.

Review of Ten Lessons To Transform Your Marriage

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The Gottman’s take on common issues that face all couples in this book. They share real interviews from couples and display the dialogue that comes with it. With the dialogue from real couples, they dissect each sentence letting the reader know what works and doesn’t work. This real world advice goes a long way in help each of us look into how we talk to our partner.

Good parts of the book The real-world examples make it clear that we all face similar issues within relationships. The Gottman’s help you understand and change the way you communicate. This goes a long way in forming healthier happier relationships.
Not so good parts of the book I do not enjoy reading the dialogue. This book is filled with real relationship dialogue that the Gottman’s break down. While helpful in understanding how we talk to each other, it becomes a tedious read.

Chapter Breakdown

Each chapter takes on a topic and how the couple deals with the topic before and after the advice from the Gottman’s. I will list the different issues that are addressed in each chapter.

1 – The one partner who is working all the time.
2 – The couple dealing with an affair.
3 – How distance happens and can heal
4 – Lack of communication couple
5 – We have different goals and dreams.
6 – Dealing with an irritable spouse.
7 – All she does is Nag.
8 – Dealing with no passion and fun.
9 – Kids are taking all our time.
10 – Dealing with Drama.

Who This Book Helps

From married couples to those who just have started dating. This book can be helpful to anyone who is looking for real-world example of what goes wrong in relationships. The Gottman’s are able to give specific, tangible advice that can help any relationship.

My words of advice for any who read this book (or any relationship book for that matter). Use the knowledge that you gain for improvement of your part of the relationship. Do NOT use the knowledge that you gain as a way to tell your partner what they are doing wrong within the context of the relationship.