What is Codependency

Codependency can show up in many different ways and forms in a relationship. The basic concept of codependency is the need to be needed. It may be that by being needed by your partner (codependent relationship), needed by children (codependent parenting) or just needed by others is part of your identity.  You or your partner might feel codependent because you feel like you need to be responsible for someone else’s problems, because if you don’t, they might leave you. Or it may be that you might not be able to say no because they might get mad at you which could end the relationship. 

Codependency In Relationships 

Signs of codependency in relationships come down to not being able to share one’s own emotions, needs or wants because you are afraid that it might hurt the relationship. You will avoid conflict and put your own “stuff” to the side and act different to do anything to avoid conflict and will struggle with saying “no”. Most people who have the tendency to feel codependent will get hurt feelings, angry or upset when their partner does not give them the attention or recognize the things that they have done for the relationship. They really depend on the marriage or the relationship to fulfill all of their emotional needs causing their partner to feel resentful or pull away because they can’t meet all of your needs. 

Other Codependency  Symptoms

Other ways you might show codependency symptoms could be having poor communication skills. You take it personally when people in your life have a negative emotion such as disappointment, hurt, or sadness. If you think there is a distance in a significant relationship, you have intense feelings of loneliness. 

How Codependency Impacts Your Life 

If you or your partner have any of the codependency symptoms listed above it is more than likely negatively affecting your relationship. When you have codependency symptoms in your life, you are not able to have your needs fulfilled because you are so worried about losing a significant relationship in your life. Maybe your partner appears, and it is pushing you away.  Codependency has a negative cycle that the person who is codependent is so fearful of losing the relationship that behavior creates an environment that causes their partner to leave. When you or your partner have aspects of codependency, it causes emotional distance, frustration, irritation and lack of closeness. 

Overcome Codependency

If you come in as a couple or as an individual, you can learn how to overcome codependency. With therapy, you will learn to discover who you really are and what is really important to you in your life. This new found understanding of yourself will be shared within your relationship. You will know who you are outside of the need of being needed. Building a healthy relationship will help you learn how to set firm, healthy boundaries with each other, and how that actually drives more emotional closeness. Through couples counseling, you both will learn how to own your emotions and learn how to lovingly share them with each other. You will then both be able to be there for each other in new ways because you’re sharing your needs in new ways. 

Codependent Recovery 

Both couples and individuals who have sought our codependency couples counseling find that their relationship is stronger than it was when they started. You will have the emotional closeness you have always wanted in a relationship because of the skills that you will learn through couples counseling. If your partner is codependent, you will learn the ability to lovingly set boundaries and help them feel safe in the relationship without having to be needed all the time. Couples who work with us at Richer Life Counseling Las Vegas have discovered that with some hard work, they can have a healthy, happy relationship that you both always wanted. 

What Keeps You Codependent

You are just going to tell me to leave my partner or that I need to change what I want out of relationships? 

No good therapist will tell you to leave your partner unless there is abuse. I want you to have a close emotional relationship that you want. Therapy will help you see that the way you are functioning in your relationship isn’t working. Having strong exceptions for a relationship is important. Learning to access your own emotional needs and share them will be a critical part of improving your relationship. Starting therapy today will help you avoid codependent behaviors that lead to damage in the relationship. 

My partner needs me. Are you saying I can’t be there for them? 

I tell couples I work with all the time in relationship counseling that I want them to be dependent on each other NOT Codependent. This means that being there for each other is an essential aspect of building a strong healthy relationship, yet it requires both partners to own their emotional needs and learn to lovingly share them with each other. If you are codependent and your partner is struggling with addictive or destructive behaviors, learning to manage your codependency will help you save your relationship. More importantly, you will better be able to help them through their struggle. 

My partner is codependent, but they do not see codependency as a problem. I can get them to come to therapy? 

For most people who are codependent, they have a deep need to be needed. Many couples come to couples counseling just to improve their relationship. If your partner is codependent but does not think that they are, just book a session saying you want to improve your relationship with them. Which is true, you want to have a healthier less codependent relationship. It doesn’t matter if we use the label codependent or not. What truly matters is saying that you want to improve your relationship and you want to do couples counseling to learn the skill to have the best relationship possible. 

End Codependency Today Start Codependency Couples Counseling.

With codependency couples counseling, you will learn the patterns of your behavior. You will learn how to come more dynamic in sharing your emotion and how to set clear boundaries. Book a session with us today to break free from the drama of codependency. You can also learn more about a healthy relationship by reading our Relationship Blog.