10 Common Myths about Counseling

Part I

“You must have big problems” or “you don’t have any friends who can help you?” These are just some of the statements you could hear when telling someone that you are thinking about counseling. You might not believe all these myths, but they might sit in the back of your mind keeping you away from counseling or you might believe some. That is ok if you do. During the last few years, the stigma of seeking counseling has decreased the number of myths still existing about counseling. I hope to be able to discuss some of the 10 common myths about counseling below.

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10 Common Myths About Counseling

10 Common Myths About Counseling

Myth 1

Only crazy people go to Counseling

    Is this still a common myth about counseling? You can seek counseling for a lot of different reasons some might include depression, anxiety, substance abuse, or addiction. You could find help to deal with hard life transitions from kids living the house, to moving away from friends or family. Maybe you need to stop a negative behavior problem in their life. Or you have experienced a significant loss such as job, divorce or death of a loved one. Still yet, you might want to learn better ways to manage the balance between different aspects of their life.

    Research is always showing new links indicating the value of your mental health to make sure good physical health. You would not call someone sick just because they go to the doctor – so you do not have to be crazy to go to the therapist. To change the famous quote a little “if you have been doing the same thing over and over and again that is the definition of crazy, and seeking out therapy might be the first step in regaining some sanity. “

10 Common Myths About Counseling

Myth 2

Talking to your family or friends is just as valid as going to therapy.

    Having a social support system full of close trusted friends and family is something that any therapist would urge. Counseling offer so much more, because therapists have years of education and experience in treating complex problems. The way counselors handle problems is not based on intuition but research on what solves problems. This research helps therapist use the latest in techniques and interventions when working with a client. Leading the therapist to look at clients problems objectively, seeing patterns differently than you or your loved ones can. A therapist can be honest with you about your patterns while your friends and family might hold back and even sugar coat the truth as not to hurt your feelings. The reverse is true also you can be 100% open and honest with your therapist without being judged, or having that information shared.
    Therapy has been shown to be effective.

    • This show therapy produces positive effects in 92% of responded
    • The longer a person stayed in therapy, the better their results
    • People that were active in therapy did better than those that were passive

10 Common Myths About Counseling

Myth 3

You can get better on your own if you just tried hard enough
You just need to keep a positive attitude
Your problems are common sense you can solve them

    Maybe it feels like you have tried a lifetime to change, and nothing seems to be working. It might feel like your stuck in the mud and see no way out. Having someone (maybe a therapist) who is not stuck the mud can help you find the path to get unstuck. Sometimes our problems are partly biological, or and sometimes learned. You have spent your lifetime dealing with them, and your parents dealt with them the same way, and so on and so on as far back as you can go on your family tree. You can change with the help of an objective therapist who can help you see how these patterns are keeping you stuck in the mud. Seeking counseling is a sign of strength and not a sign of weakness, it means you are ready to make changes in your life.

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10 Common Myths About Counseling

Myth 4

Therapist use warm fuzzies, and are just cheerleader types that don’t help fix problems

    While some therapist are less conformational than others, this is partly due to what in school therapist call their theoretical model which is a big word for how they view people and problems. A cheerleading therapist does make for a good character on TV and in movies, but that is not how a therapist will act in session. Most therapist will interact with you and show real understanding, and not judgment. Sometimes the role of a good therapist is to point some painful patterns and have you address that in session. That does not sound very cheerleading like to me.

10 Common Myths About Counseling

Myth 5

Therapist will blame you for your problems or shame you once you have said something.

    Isn’t it funny that myth 4 & 5 are so different from each other but are things that keep people out of counseling? The truth falls somewhere in the middle between myth 4 & 5. Most therapists are not like Doctor Phil. They do not confront and ask you questions to make you embarrass about parts of your life. Good therapist use compassion and lets their clients reach their own emotional breakthroughs at their own pace. Some therapist can be confrontational and direct but a good therapist will do this after some time, and you have formed a trusting relationship. Therapy is not like on the on Bob Newhart Show. (If you have never see the Bob Newhart Show watch the video below)

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10 Common Myths About Counseling

Myth 6

All Therapist are the same

“I didn’t like my last one, so I won’t like the next one”
“The last one didn’t help at all so why try a different one, aren’t they all the same.”

    Maybe this one we can blame on TV and movies because most therapist shown in entertainment all are very similar. They are a jerk with more problems than their clients, or they are warm and fuzzy never really helping the client along. Therapist are people and just like you. You are unique and special with your own quirks in your personality. Each therapist also have their on quirks of personality, and this truly affects how therapy is done. For me being a therapist is about being who you are. Those passion and quirks will show up in my personality with clients, and in my office decorations.

7.8_Quirks

10 Common Myths About Counseling

Myth 7

Therapy is just too expensive

    First, therapist range in price depending on where you live from $75 to $150 an hour (maybe more in more populated areas and less in more rural areas). Most therapist will take Insurance payments so you will pay a lower payment for your session. Most universities offer free or low-cost counseling

    Second, therapy might be considered expensive if you look at just the cost without the added benefit of therapy. Let’s say you are going to therapy to save your marriage and it works! Therapy was a cheaper alternative than getting divorced. The average cost of getting divorced is about $15,000 to $20,000. Even if you were in therapy working on your marriage for 2 years, going once a week at $100 a session that is still less than the average cost of a divorce.

    Or think of this that most millionaire couples have less than 1/3 the divorce rate of non-millionaire couples. In his book about millionaires Thomas Stanly explains that to build a strong Financial future, it is strongly connected to a healthy marriage. Now therapy might not lead to you become a millionaire but it can help strengthen marriages and relationship, and I do not think you can put a price on that foundation.

    So is therapy expensive for an investment?

10 Common Myths About Counseling

Myth 8

Therapist just listens to you vent so why pay someone to listen to you to complain about your life

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The first few sessions of therapy will mostly be you talking about your problems and what brings you into therapy. However, many therapists will offer insight and homework during your first session that you can start applying in your daily life. Working together with your therapist you will develop goals, and plans to start new behaviors. Your therapist will be active in offering a suggestion of different behaviors to try. We will encourage you to think of your past actions differently. From roleplaying, to writing letters, to learning practical things about yourself all this happens in a session.

7.8_Understand Past

10 Common Myths About Counseling

Myth 9

Therapy will make you pain or problems worse

    Yes, part of therapy is to go back and think about bad memories, yet a good therapist will help you experience these memories with you and help you deal with them differently. Most will only let you experience a little pain or hurt in session. I always like to tell my clients that maybe if you understand your past, you then can tell a different story about your life, and it change the way you do things now. If you ever feel overwhelmed in therapy or that you think your life is getting worse talk to your therapist because this is not the case for most people who take on a Journey of growth and acceptance.

10 Common Myths About Counseling

Myth 10

Therapist are like magicians and will help me solve all my problems with a wave of their wand.

I went to a therapist 3 times and nothing changed or got better
The therapist told us all of this stuff, and it didn’t save our marriage

7.8_Develop Over Night

    If I had the ability to solve problems in a quick hour session so that those issues would never come back, I think I would charge a lot more and be booked out years in advance. Magic is not real; it is slight of hand that magicians put much work into tricking their audiences. Just like magicians you have to put much work into therapy and with the help of a trusted therapist, you will start to have a new understanding of your life. Your problems did not develop overnight, and they do not go away any faster either. Success depends on some factors such as how well you connect with your therapist, the amount of energy and effort you put into the change process, and how deeply rooted your problems are.

    The reverse is also true if you hear a couple or individual talking about how their therapist help them solve all of their problems. The therapist might be good, but it is important to take credit for the work and effort you put into your changes. If you are giving all the credit to the therapist, if something stops working you might blame the therapist for all you problems also. So the real change happens with you and stays with you, and the therapist is just a guide to help you seek out new Solutions to your problems.

So that is Richer Life Counseling Las Vegas Marriage and Family Therapy’s 10 common myths about counseling. Maybe it helps changed your mind; perhaps you are still thinking about if counseling is right for you to check out our other post on a Click Here to Download for our free 10 question quiz on is counseling right for me?

Check out our other blog on even more myths busted called 10 more common myths about counseling. Any of these myths you believe if so let me know in the comments below.

Tyler Rich LMFT
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