I love reading books that help inspire me, challenge me and change me. I struggle to find books that are helpful and not just the feel-good self-help type of book. Working with my clients I will recommend books that offer more than just a feel-good solution. That is why I do a bi-weekly blog post on books that are helpful to read. This week’s book review of

Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship by Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT

Wired for love is one of the best relationship books that I have ever read. The book gives booth a biological perspective of why we form relationships, what happens in the brain during a conflict. Along with real-world examples and exercise that you can do for your relationship. Tatkin explains how you learned to love from your parents (attachment) plays a significant role in your relationship. He offers solid advice that is strongly connected to both Sue Johnsons works and the Gottman’s work.

Good parts of the book – The books takes the very boring concepts of attachment and explains them in such a way that help anyone learn what’s really going on within the relationship. Along with explaining the biochemical responses in your brain when you get emotionally overwhelmed. Tatkin is able to make very complex items easy to understand.
Not so good parts of the book – An easy read, you might find yourself reading this book to quickly. Finding yourself missing not applying all the suggestings to your relationship.

Chapter Breakdown

1 – Tatkin introduces the concept of forming a couple bubble.
2 – Understanding what is going on in the brain during conflict or potential conflict.
3 & 4 – Learning to know a lot about your partner.
5 & 6 – How to create rituals and build closeness with each other.
7 – Learning to protect your couple bubble.
8 – How to fight fair.
9 & 10 – Skills needed to keep love alive.

Who This Book Helps

This book is for anyone who will have a relationship at any point in their life. Most relationship books are clearly made for those already in a relationship. However, Wired For Love can be read by those outside of a relationship and learn about how to form a solid happy healthy relationship before they are in one.

If you are already in a relationship this is the book that I have seen help most couples who come in for couples counseling. It can help you understand why you do what you do, and why your partners do what they do. Then you can try to apply some of the experiences in your relationship creating closeness.

Other Recommend Relationship

You can click on the titles and it will take you to Amazon where you can buy the book

Other Resources

Here is Stan Tatkin speaking at a Ted Talk.

You can learn more about Stan Tatkin by Clicking Here.

If you find yourself wanting to improve your relationship and books are helping but just aren’t enough. Maybe it is time to try couples counseling. If you live in the Las Vegas area give us a call or CLICK HERE to Schedule A Session or book below.

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