Spiritual and religious beliefs play a big role in most people’s lives. If you are like me you grew up in a household that going to church a few times a week was the norm. From Sunday school to Wednesday night church dinners, to vacation, bible school every summer. For many, your religious identity is a big part of who you have become in your life. The struggle is if you start to develop same-sex attraction and come out as LGBT you have to see how that can work within your religious beliefs. Thus I ask the questions can you be gay and religious?

Gay and Religious Problems

This is not a blog post on theology. Many LGBT people held their religious beliefs before identity as LGBT. This can create major conflict within one’s self about who they are. Feelings so worthless, shame, guilt along with blaming God come on every LGBT journey into reconciling their sexual identity with their beliefs. On top of the individual own struggle with their sexual identity and religious beliefs, you add common issues from religious institutions.

A growing number of churches, synagogues, and mosque are becoming more accepting of LGBT member. However, religious communities are not accepting of what they call the “lifestyle choices.” Research has shown that 40% of homeless youth are LGBT. Once of the major reason for this is because the youth do not feel accepted at home due to religious beliefs.

Again without talking about theology, we must bridge the gap and learn to talk to each other about what is going on inside our religious communities. Below is a video created by the Gay Chrisitan network. This video shows how the lack of clear community leads to disconnection.

Gay and Religious Resouces

Let me say it one more time, this is not about theology! No matter if you think that it is ok to be gay and religious or if you think you can never act on your sexual feelings. I work with clients who struggle with their own sense of self because they cannot reconcile their beliefs with their sexual identity. It is my beliefs that this struggle is one of the reasons why the suicide rate for LGBT youth is so high. Below are resources that can be helpful in asking the question can you be gay & religious.

Click Here to see a list of both national resources and those in Las Vegas on GLBT friendly religious organizations.

Click Here for a list of books that talk about theology and personal stories. If you are LGBT and struggle with your own spirituality these books can help. If you are not a member of the community but wish to learn more about the struggles check out these books below.

God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships

Click Here to buy on Amazon.

As a young Christian man, Matthew Vines harbored the same basic hopes of most young people: to some-day share his life with someone, to build a family of his own, to give and receive love. But when he realized he was gay, those hopes were called into question. The Bible, he’d been taught, condemned gay relationships. Feeling the tension between his understanding of the Bible and the reality of his same-sex orientation, Vines devoted years of intensive research into what the Bible says about homosexuality. With care and precision, Vines asked questions such as:
• Do biblical teachings on the marriage covenant preclude same-sex marriage or not?
• How should we apply the teachings of Jesus to the gay debate?
• Can celibacy be a calling when it is mandated, not chosen?
• What did Paul have in mind when he warned against same-sex relations?
Unique in its affirmation of both an orthodox faith and sexual diversity, God and the Gay Christian has sparked heated debate, sincere soul searching, and widespread cultural change on the issue of what it means to be a faithful gay Christian.

Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate

Click Here to buy on Amazon.

As a teenager and young man, Justin Lee felt deeply torn. Nicknamed “God Boy” by his peers, he knew that he was called to a life in the evangelical Christian ministry. But Lee harbored a secret: He also knew that he was gay. In this groundbreaking book, Lee recalls the events–his coming out to his parents, his experiences with the “ex-gay” movement, and his in-depth study of the Bible–that led him, eventually, to self-acceptance.

But more than just a memoir, TORN provides insightful, practical guidance for all committed Christians who wonder how to relate to gay friends or family members–or who struggle with their own sexuality. Convinced that “in a culture that sees gays and Christians as enemies, gay Christians are in a unique position to bring peace,” Lee demonstrates that people of faith on both sides of the debate can respect, learn from, and love one another.

The Cross in the Closet

Click Here to buy on Amazon.

Timothy Kurek, raised within the confines of a strict, conservative Christian denomination in the Bible Belt, Nashville, Tennessee, was taught the gospel of separation from a young age. But it wasn’t long before Timothy’s path and the outside world converged when a friend came out as a lesbian, and revealed she had been excommunicated by her family. Distraught and overcome with questions and doubts about his religious upbringing, Timothy decided the only way to empathize and understand her pain was to walk in the shoes of very people he had been taught to shun.

He decided to come out as a gay man to everyone in his life, and to see for himself how the label of gay would impact his life. In the tradition of Black Like Me, The Cross in the Closet is a story about people, a story about faith, and about one man’s “abominable” quest to find Jesus in the margins.
Check out my Review of this book, and Timothy’s Ted Talk by clicking here

Being Gay and Religious

Learning to deal with the feelings so worthless, shame, guilt along with blaming God is hard. If you are struggling and live in the Las Vegas area give us a call today to schedule a therapy session. We can work togeather to learn how to deal with these uncomfortable feelings. Click Here to schedule a session.