Helping A Loved One With Anxiety

Anxiety and the anxious loved one.  It can be so confusing if you’ve never experienced anxiety to the point that it changes your life.  If you don’t understand anxiety, then you might feel overwhelmed even at a loss of how to help a loved one with anxiety.  The key to helping someone is by gaining knowledge. Educating yourself about their experience is essential if you want to help them, particularly if you are living with a loved one with anxiety.  You may even feel frustrated because it’s affecting your life and you’re not sure how to help. It’s important to understand that anxiety is not a flaw; it’s human. In many cases, it protects us and makes us aware of danger.  It’s a part of the flight-fight-freeze response. For some people, they freeze. For some, they fight, becoming irritable, angry, or defensive. The more you understand about your loved one’s response, the more empathy and compassion you will have for their struggle. Helping a loved one with anxiety you first need to understand what they are experiencing and then offer support.

When Your Loved One Is Anxious

When you’re loved one is anxious, they may be experiencing some if not all of the following:

• Nausea
• Headaches
• Pounding heart (increased heart race)
• Shaking/trembling
• A sense of doom, which fuels their anxiety.  They don’t feel safe! 
• Chest pains
• A child will often complain of a “tummy ache” because they don’t understand what they are experiencing.
• Have a hard time breathing

What you may also not know or see is that an anxious person is a worrier–an over-thinker. They spent too much time regretting the past and worrying about the future.  They may isolate themselves in an effort to avoid their triggers. If you don’t do these things, then for you, it doesn’t make sense. Many times those with anxiety are also struggling with depression.  For some people, extreme perfection is a coping skill, but it’s only a temporary distraction.  

Helping A Loved One With Anxiety

When your loved one is anxious, here are the ways to help.  Educate yourself by reading blogs like this and other reading materials that will teach you how anxiety manifests itself along with….

• Be patient
• Educate yourself
• Encourage them to seek the support of a therapist
• When in doubt, ask–ask them how you can best assist them.
• Notice their patterns; are they triggered by attending school?  Is there someone at work who is particularly difficult therefore work is now a trigger?
• Don’t stigmatize them; they already think they are crazy and a burden to others.
• Exercise is helpful. Offer to go on a walk or go to the gym with them.  Take up yoga together! This is particularly challenging for those experiencing depression. Depression tells us, “Nah, just stay in bed.” You may need to help motivate them.
• Learn calm breathing exercises and do them with your anxious loved one
• Take care of yourself, too.  Remember that you’re helping not curing.

A common behavior for someone who struggles with anxiety is that of avoidance.  They often avoid doing things like making phone calls, asking a teacher a question or speaking with a boss about an issue at work, even if those things benefit them.  For the anxious loved one, it ignites their anxiety–it’s like putting a log on an already burning fire. Adding to the fire is that now that they have put off what they need to do, they may have intrusive thoughts about what they haven’t done.  They are often embarrassed by their physical symptoms; it’s important to destigmatize their experience and reassure them. You can’t promise them that they won’t experience anxiety, but you can be encouraging and tell them they can cope–they can get through it!  

To better help a loved one understand their anxiety,  you can read here about how to understand their anxiety triggers. Also, check out this post on ways to cope when you are feeling anxious. Better yet, if your loved one is suffering from anxiety help them schedule a session with someone like me who works specifically with anxiety-related issues.  Comment below if you have any questions about anxiety or if you have more specific questions about what to do when loved one is anxious that we can write a post in the future. 

Contact us today by calling or texting 702-518-1546, email,  or booking a session by hitting the appointment request button. We can normally get you into a session within 24 or 48 hours.

We offer both online therapy (learn more about online therapy here) and in-person therapy at our Las Vegas office. Our office is located in West Las Vegas right off the 95 & Rainbow. Our address is 222 S. Rainbow Boulevard | Suites 113-114 |Las Vegas NV 89145