Premarital Counseling

A firm foundation builds a solid marriage.

“I said yes!” 

You’ve bought the rings, you’ve set the date and life is feeling really good right about now.  Here you are, sitting with the excitement of an engagement.  Planning a wedding and future together is one of the most exciting times in a couples’ lives.  It can also be stressful.

But wait–how strong is the relationship?  How well do you communicate? How do you fight?  (yes, that’s a real and important question).  How a couple handles conflict, which is inevitable, is a strong indicator of relationship success.  Dr. Gottman says, “Although we tend to equate a low level of conflict with happiness, a lasting relationship results from a couple’s ability to manage the conflicts that are inevitable in any relationship.”

Questions To Ask Yourself

How about questions like do you know the difference between sex and intimacy?  Does one of you pinch every penny while the other has a daily relationship with Amazon?  

It’s a myth that if couples go to premarital counseling it means they have issues.  For some that may be true and if so, who wouldn’t want to find ways to resolve the issues?  But there are other reasons to attend therapy. You’re a good fit for couple’s therapy if any of the following exist within your relationship:

1. One or both of you have been married before and never really gained the right tools to navigate conflict in healthy ways or understood better ways of communication.
2. You’ve not known each other for very long and excited to learn ways that will strengthen the relationship.
3. You recognize there are small differences that may become big issues later in the relationship such as religious and cultural differences. 
4. You want to learn the best way to bridge the gap between different upbringings.
5. You’re not on the same page when it comes to finances.
6. You don’t agree on relationship expectations.
7. Some of your values differ.
8. You’re not 100% on the same page about having children or how to rear them.
9. One or both of you don’t get along with your future in-laws.
10. You’re not on the same page regarding sex and intimacy or one or both of you don’t know the difference between sex and intimacy.
11. You feel you have some concerns but are afraid to bring them up, fearing it will hurt the relationship.  
12. You often argue and aren’t sure why.

No matter the situation, premarital counseling helps couples connect in ways they never knew were possible or even necessary.  Examining the relationship may feel awkward and downright uncomfortable but it isn’t designed to make you question the relationship but rather, it’s designed to strengthen an already existing bond.  Research shows that couples who attend premarital counseling reduce their chances of divorce.  According to Scott Braithwaite, a clinical psychologist, 40 to 50% of couples will divorce, while 25% of the couples who stay married report the relationship to be an unhappy marriage.  I know that sounds discouraging, but that doesn’t have to be the case.  Studies show that couples who attend premarital counseling have a 30% stronger marriage than other couples who did not attend.

Let’s discuss the myths of premarital counseling.  According to Liz Higgins, LMFTA, and contribute to the Gottman Institute, myths about premarital conflict include the following:

Myth: If you’re fight before marriage, your marriage won’t last,

Fact: It’s not a rational thought to believe your marriage won’t last.  Fighting, in a healthy way, is an opportunity for growth. 

Myth: Your family will support your marriage during times of conflict.

Fact: Be careful of what you share with family members (and friends); family and friends tend to take sides and they tend to remember the negative. Your job as a couple is to protect the relationship. Couples premarital counseling can help you learn how to set boundaries with others and protect the relationship.

Myth: Engaged couples are immune to infidelity.

Fact: No one is immune to turning to unhealthy coping skills during stressful times and planning a wedding is stressful.  Also, there are many forms of betrayal.  To learn more, click here

If you’d like to read more from Liz Higgins and debunking premarital conflict, click here

What Will We Learn In Premarital Counseling?

In premarital counseling, your therapist will help you learn effective communication skills, encourage you to explore each other’s love language.  If you’d like a headstart learning about you and your partner’s love language, click here to take individual and couple’s quizzes. You will also explore what couple’s counseling researchers call Love Maps.  You will learn how to set boundaries, resolve conflict, gain an understanding of each other’s core beliefs, values, differences and so much more! You’ve invested so much already, why not make the best investment yet?

Contact us today by calling or texting 702-518-1546, email,  or booking a session by hitting the appointment request button. We can normally get you into a session within 24 or 48 hours.

We offer both online therapy (learn more about online therapy here) and in-person therapy at our Las Vegas office. Our office is located in West Las Vegas right off the 95 & Rainbow. Our address is 222 S. Rainbow Boulevard | Suites 113-114 |Las Vegas NV 89145