After the Affair Book Review

I love reading books that help inspire me, challenge me and change me. I struggle to find books that are helpful and not just the feel-good self-help type of book. Working with my clients, I will recommend books that offer more than a feel-good solution. This week’s book review of After the Affair by Janis A. Spring

Book Review After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Janis A Spring

Click here to buy from Amazon

Click here to get the audio book.

Good parts of the book

This is one of the best books that speak to both the hurt partner and the partner who committed the affair. Reading this book will help both parties heal, and does a great job in normalizing how both partners feel after the affair.  

The not so good parts of the book

It brings up incredibly uncomfortable emotions. One way couples tend to deal with affairs is to ignore that they happened. This means not addressing hurts or healing the wounds that come. In reading this book, it forces you to deal with the pain, hurt, anger, and the loneliness that the hurt partner experience. It will also bring up shame, guilt, pain, hurt for the partner who committed the affair. 

Chapter Breakdown

Stage one – What each of you is feeling 

Ch 1 – Hurt Partners Response. Decreased what hurt partners go through and why they are responding to the affair the way that they do. 

Ch 2  – The Unfaithful partner’s response. Desired the process that the unfaithful partner is going through. 

Stage two – Should you move forward. 

Ch 3 – Exploring your ideas about love. You will learn about what your concept of relationship, intimacy, and love are. 

Ch 4 – Confronting fears and doubts. 

Stage three – Rebuilding 

Ch 5 – Restoring trust. 

Ch 6 – How to talk about the affair 

Ch 7  – When to start having sex again. 

Ch 8 – Forgiveness 

Ch 9 – Affairs Online 

Who This Book Helps

This book can be helpful to any relationship that has experienced an affair, from physical affairs, online relationship and emotionally based affairs. I always recommend that the partner who committed the affair to be the first to read this book. I have found that it can help them understand the pain of their partner and help them create an environment where healing can happen. 

For hurt partners, it can help create some feelings of understanding that what you are feeling does not make your crazy. But is a normal part of finding out about the betrail of an affair. This book can help you start to express your needs more clearly and then also help you set firm boundaries that led to rebuilding safety within the relationship. 

This has been my quick review of After the Affair. If you have just found out about an affair, I suggest that you start reading about this book, and also seek out a couples counselor who works with couples who have experienced infidelity. If you are in the Las Vegas valley and are ready to start to heal your relationship from an affair you can learn more about how we help clients heal from affairs.  You can also sign up for our free email series on how to start to heal form an affair, by putting in your email below.