Part II
Is there a stigma to going to counseling, maybe but not for those who start. For those of you who are thinking about attending counseling for the first time, and feel there is a stigma if you do go to counseling, this blog post is for you. This is part II of my blog post series on common myths about counseling. Go read part one here. These common myths about counseling can be summed up in one major thought “you just don’t want to get better.” It is easier to stay stuck in the problems in your life than face your personal issue that forces you to change. This denial or lack of self-responsibility is what drives these myths, keeping you away from achieving your goals of finding happiness, and positive sense of self.
Richer Life Counseling Las Vegas Marriage and Family Therapy Presents
10 More Common Myths About Counseling
Myth 1
Therapy takes years
- While I Believe that growing, learning, and changing is all part of a lifelong path we all take. Therapy will only be a small part of that for you. Everyone goes at different speeds, and not everyone will accomplish his or her goals in therapy at the same time. In one study of clients attending therapy after about eight sessions, half of the clients stated improvement, and 75% of the clients reported improvement after six months. The goal of any good therapist will be to empower you to reach your goals and work towards discontinuing therapy once you feel you are ready. Some therapy models such as solution focused therapy works on a lower amount of sessions. You can even talk to your therapist about bi-weekly, monthly or bi-monthly sessions.
10 More Common Myths About Counseling
Myth 2
Therapist will just blame all your problems on your parents or your childhood experiences
-
A good therapist will not blame all your problems on your parents or your childhood experiences. I like to think of our life as a story, having a clear understanding of how we got to this point in our story, does not take away from our current responsibilities, it provides context for our stories. Reflecting during a session on how your past has impacted your life can bring deeper meaning to your experiences along with helping the therapist understand why you are at this point. Sometimes you will focus on the future, and sometimes you will focus on your thoughts feelings and behaviors. Part of the counseling process is for you to learn to understand what you control and take responsibility for parts of your life you can change (including your problems).
10 More Common Myths About Counseling
Myth 3
If I go they will just put me on medication
-
Therapists are not Psychiatrist (to read more about the difference click here). Only medical doctors can prescribe medication. Sometimes your therapist will make recommendations to see a doctor if medication is right for you. The New York Times wrote an article about treating depression with medication or therapy. In the article, they talk about how the outcomes differ depending on the cause of the depression. This is why it is important to get some different professional opinions on if medication is right for you.
10 More Common Myths About Counseling
Myth 4
If a man goes to marriage counseling the therapist will blame him for all the marriage problems
It takes two to tango as the saying goes. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and the goal of couple’s therapy for me is to understand how you have developed your relationship patterns, creating the cycle that you are in. Once you both understand your negative cycle and the roles you play, you can dive deeper to understanding your emotional needs. This understanding can drive new behaviors in the relationship that can bring you closer together.
10 More Common Myths About Counseling
Myth 5
If I have spiritual beliefs I cannot talk about them in therapy
-
If your belief system is important to you, then it should be important in your therapy sessions. Your belief systems help you create your worldview, and sharing that will increase understanding and help your therapist use homework and other activities that align with your belief system.
Christian Counselor versus Counselor. I do not consider myself a Christian counselor, but I am a Christian that does counseling. For thousands of years Christians went to war with each other because of their different beliefs, these differences are rooted in strong theology and that will influence both client and therapist. I do not want my beliefs about theology to influence your beliefs, so I let you share yours, and we work together within your belief system to meet your goals. That might mean that questioning your belief system, being angry with God, or using prayer, reading the Bible, or using biblically based books to help the process.
Richer Life Counseling Las Vegas Marriage and Family Therapy Presents
10 More Common Myths About Counseling
Myth 6
Everyone will know my secrets
-
I believe that confidentiality is so important I tell all my clients that even if I saw you out in public, I would not approach you or say hi to you because I do not want anyone to know that you see me as a therapist. (I follow that up by stating you can say hi to me if you would like.) Part of therapists ethical code (read the AAMFT code of ethics about confidentiality here) along with the law stated that what you say in therapy is confidential. I review this with my clients during our first session (you can read my policies here).
The only ways to break confidentiality are if you sign a waiver for your information to be shared, a court order. Therapist are mandated reporters and are required by law to report: Child abuse, elder abuse, suicidal thoughts, homicidal thoughts.
10 More Common Myths About Counseling
Myth 7
Therapy is a waste of time
-
Yes, therapy is a waste of time. What did I just say……. I am a therapist, on a therapy blog. I 100% Believe that therapy is a waste of time if you are only seeking therapy as a last ditch effort to fix a big problem in your life. For me, there is a big difference between not knowing what to do and seeking out help, and thinking screw it, I’ll try this. If you are not ready to work on yourself, and dive deep, addressing your issues, then therapy might not work.
I see this in couples counseling; one person is desperate to save the relationship while the other is checked but say’s I’ll give it a try. This typically does not end well for the relationship. However, if both people are committed to change, and are wanting to improve but just don’t know how therapy can help. On our FAQ page, we address the question of if therapy is affective, you can read about it here.
10 More Common Myths About Counseling
Myth 8
Therapy is passive
-
I do not want to go to therapy because all I will do is lay down on the couch and talk about my dreams…
Therapy is more than just sitting on the couch and talking about your past. Therapists in TV and movies have something very insightful to say as they listen. That is not a how real therapy goes. While I hope that my words inspire or provide insight, the real insight comes from you taking an active role in your life. You will have homework, and learn to think about your life patterns differently, and start to make ongoing changes about what you want, and what you do. That is not very passive.
10 More Common Myths About Counseling
Myth 9
Therapy is all about happy thoughts and feeling good
-
During the first session, I review what to expect from therapy. That includes some days of feeling good about life, and other days being full of frustration. That is normal and ok. My job as a therapist is to help you change your perspective, and that includes taking a deep look at unpleasant emotions within. As painful as some of these experiences in emotion might be for you, they can help you grown in acceptance of yourself, and improve your relationships. I believe that the pain that comes will lead to a hopeful, peaceful future that is full of mental serenity.
10 More Common Myths About Counseling
Myth 10
There is nothing you can do about the past so why talk about it
-
Don’t tell Marty McFly that you cannot do anything about the past. (back to the future reference for anyone who did not get it). You cannot really change the past, but you can change the way you think about the past. Sometimes we hold on so tightly to our past we cannot learn to heal. Counseling can help you find a resolution to some of these feelings, and the process while not always easy can help you come to an inner peace about your past and how it affects you today.
So that is Richer Life Counseling Las Vegas Marriage and Family Therapy’s 10 more common myths about counseling. Maybe it has helped you change your mind about therapy. Please check out our first post on common myths about counseling or you can read more about common reasons why people come to counseling. If you think that you might need counseling Click Here to Download to get our free 10 question quiz on is counseling right for you.
Any myths that I forgot? If you have been to counseling what made you start? If you have not started yet what is keeping you from starting? Let me know in the comments below.
- Table Topics - June 25, 2020
- How to Apologize - June 11, 2020
- What is stonewalling? |TheRicher Marriage Show - June 5, 2020